The topic was “Men and Depression.” When I arrived I found what I expected, a mansion that looks like Versailles on crack and dozens of well-coiffed, impeccably dressed middle-aged wealthy women and a panel top scientists and physicians.
Why, I wondered, is the topic “Men and Depression” when there are so few men here and so much interest and research on women and depression: post-partum depression; hormones and depression; pregnancy and depression; menopause and depression?
Dr. Steven Roose, a psychiatry professor at Columbia University and Director of the Neuropsychiatry Research Clinic at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, explained: “You are often the first person they will talk to about it and you are the one’s who help bring them into treatment.”
A survey sponsored by the American Academy of Family Physicians found that 78 percent of all married men who visited a doctor had been influenced to do so by their wives. Which means we women - whether we like it or not and whether we are married or not - need to know the symptoms of depression in men.
Some are like ours: Hopelessness; Fatigue; Inability to focus; Problems sleeping and eating; Feelings of guilt and hopelessness; Thoughts of suicide. Been there. Done them all.
Symptoms of depression in men often include violent or abusive behavior; inappropriate rage; escapist behavior, such as overwork or excessive sports; risky behavior, such as reckless driving; promiscuity; alcohol or substance abuse; and more frequent thoughts of suicide.
But wait! There’s more! It is a really biggie: Erectile Dysfunction. (I have to tell you that you could have heard a feather drop under Trump’s chandeliers when Dr. Roose announced that his presentation would focus on E.D.). Turns out depression can cause E.D. and E.D. can trigger depression. The trick is knowing the difference and that is best left to a doctor, which is where we women come in.
Men need to know that for some, testosterone replacement alone can relieve and even eliminate symptoms of mild depression, Roose said. However, doctors often go overboard with testosterone replacement and over medicating with testosterone can cause more problems, Roose said. Antidepressants are effective for those guys with more serious symptoms.
Getting a guy to take an antidepressant is worse than “suggesting” he stop and ask for directions. So, here is what men and women need to know: Yes, some antidepressants can cause ED. But - and it is a really big “but” - MEN CAN TAKE E.D. MEDICATION WHILE TAKING ANTIDEPRESSANTS, Roose said.
Why is this such a big deal NOW? Because research has found - not surprisingly - that men who buy into the John Wayne-esque ideal of manhood and those who measure their worth by their bank account are less likely to seek treatment. There is nothing like getting laid off, losing your home, your ability to send you children to college and to have sex to drive a stake through a man’s manhood.
Finally, we need to know that while women attempt suicide twice as much as men, men are four times more successful. So ladies, we need to understand that these men are sick - not losers. They need understanding and maybe a kinder, gentler kind of hen-pecking to get them to the doctor. But we must keep trying.
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